Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine's Day Doesn't Have to Suck... But It Does

I hate Valentine’s Day.
I’m somewhat of a sentimental fool, so that’s a little disappointing to admit.
(and somewhat is putting it mildly)

Actually, I would really like Valentine’s Day if it didn’t suck so much.
Unfortunately the reasons why it sucks far outweigh the reasons why it has the potential to be awesome.

We can’t blame commercialization…
It was a commercial holiday to begin with so that’s not a valid argument.
But we use it anyway… among other lame excuses for not celebrating, participating in, or at the very least, acknowledging it.

Personally, I blame user error and the forever complicated Mars/Venus language barrier between men and women for the excess and angst that screw up what could otherwise be a fun little holiday.
And… I might get some heat for this but...

Guys… you started it! 

The cowards who dump their mates by February 13th are, for the most part, male.
Men are usually the ones to protest in the name of commercialization!
It’s a holiday about feelings… the “L” word in particular… and we know how much you enjoy any sort of discussion or public display of that!
And my personal favorite Bullshit Copout #1
“There shouldn’t be a special holiday to show someone you love them… that should be every day of the year!”

Let’s examine that one for a second… and why it’s a load of crap, shall we?

You love your mom, right?
All day…every day… twenty-four-seven-three-sixty-five, right?
I seriously doubt your unwavering love coupled with the inherent commercialization of Mother’s Day stops you from doing something special for her.
If you are in a committed relationship, you probably celebrate an anniversary… maybe even a couple of them. You don’t just glaze over it (them) without some sort of gesture, I’m sure.
Yes, Valentine’s Day is just another day. But just like Mother’s Day… or an anniversary… or even your birthday… it’s one day out of all the other days to show appreciation with just a little more cowbell.

Which brings me to my personal favorite Bullshit Copout #2
“I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because I don’t want to be like everyone else.” 

Um… okay… lemme get this straight…
You don’t want to do the cliche flowers, candy, teddy bears, giant heart-shaped card or balloon, dinner at a fancy restaurant thing… so you’re just not going to do anything... at all?

Dude! Really?

Um… if you don’t want to be like everyone else… then don’t!
Be creative!  For starters… try thinking about your girl and how you feel about her instead of focusing solely on the cliche!
And… seriously, what does what everyone else is doing have to do with you?

Ladies… we don’t help the situation either.

We do tend to go a little ape-shit over Valentine’s Day.
Most of the time, our negative and/or amplified reactions are in response to the scenarios I mentioned above. Especially if we’re barely shown love on a regular day or clueless as to how he feels about us at all.
Sometimes our feathers are ruffled by our own doing.
We place unrealistic expectations on our guys and/or we are gunning for bragging rights.
Valentine’s Day, much like weddings, is more about pageantry than love these days.

Like I said… user error and miscommunication.

To me, Valentine’s Day should be whatever you and the person you love (or just like a whole helluva lot) want it to be… the trick is knowing exactly what that is.
It could be a big-ass cliche or a convenient excuse for a much needed date-night.
Celebrate it… don’t celebrate it… but you both better be on the same page and know what’s up.
It all boils down to the dynamics of your relationship and really knowing your mate.
Contrary to popular belief, every kiss does not begin with Kay!

What’s that you say?
Valentine’s Day is not a real holiday…
Neither is National Tequila Day but that didn’t stop you from dropping a c-note on a couple of bottles of Patron, now, did it?

Yeah… that’s what I thought.

(also posted on Medium)