You ever notice that anticipation feels exactly the same whether you are anticipating something good or something bad? Your heart beats so hard it practically cracks your rib cage. You hold your breath. Limbs shaking. Praying. Tears form at the corner of your eyes timed perfectly with the rise of a lump in your throat. Whether you are waiting to be crowned Miss America or awaiting a death sentence, the perfect blend of excitement mixed with fear is identical.
You ever notice that the reaction to the outcome is exactly the same too? A scream of elation or shear horror. Collapsing into a heap of sobs of gratitude or disbelief or sorrow. Shocked into a catatonic numbness, not sure if what you heard was really what you heard.
Anticipation turns you into a human scale. In a state of perfectly balanced agony until a decision is made to tip it to the positive or the negative. You wish you had the power to sway the result. You may have even attempted to plea your case. Ultimately, it's up to someone or something else. Completely up to chance and out of your control. You can't force it to your favor. Well...you can try...but trust me (and I speak from extensive experience), that never ever works.
With anticipation (shitty state of being that it is) you only have two choices…wait it out and accept what comes or just give up. Now…which choice can your soul live with?
Well…I'm waiting?
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