Not declaring NaNoWriMo victory again this year was actually a welcome (un)achievement.
I didn't just get one unfinished novel out of it, I got some much needed brain space back and a new sense of creative clarity.
About a week into writing what I thought would be my NaNo novel, another story popped into my head and begged for attention. In between alternating between writing the first and the second story, a third one appeared... sort of a spin-off of the second (sorta kinda).
"Dude, I've got less than 20 days to write 50,000 words... which one of you is it gonna be?"
I was answered with a four-day stretch of writing absolutely nothing followed by a NaNo defeat.
But I also got a break-thru...
I write every day. For work, of course, and always in my journal... but I seem to reserve my more creative, fictional thoughts for November or April (ScriptFrenzy).
It's more than reserve... I suppress them.
I don't give myself permission to "play" as often as I should. I ground myself, creatively speaking.
You know... like a "can't go outside until my homework is done" sort of thing.
Slapping my own wrists when I allow myself to linger in "fantasy land" too long when I should be focused on more "important" stuff.
Furthermore, when I actually do let myself explore a fictitious tangent, I get too caught up in wanting the writing to "mean something" or to "make sense" or to be the beginning of some great work when really, it's just a massive creative brain dump... and that may be all it was meant to be.
I purge in my journal daily... releasing my thoughts and feelings about real life.
The right brain is cleansed and ready for a refill while the left brain remains clogged, repressed, and backed up only to be partially emptied during an appropriate and creatively acceptable month.
Obviously, this is not working for me.
Just like garbage that's not taken out regularly funks up your whole house, so goes me not giving in to my creative urges.
It's screwing with my chi, yo!
I don't need a special month to bring my characters to life and their stories do not have to be novels or screenplays. They just simply should be written...period.
All I need is permission to play with them and today, I give myself this gift.
Just one page per day... every day... is all I need.
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